Many of them try to get the necessary information from classes and books. Although these can be helpful, nothing compares to having a mentor. These experienced individuals won’t only help you succeed as a businessman, but also to become a better person. 

Through a long-term relationship, a mentor can become your source of support, teaching, and wisdom. He or she can build your character and assist you in gaining a competitive edge. 

Here is a list of 9 benefits you get from having a mentor who wants to maximize your potential:

Improved Confidence 

One of the most significant benefits of having a mentor is improved confidence. With the guidance of someone who went through a number of challenges, you are bound to have a greater sense of resilience. 

It becomes easier to believe in yourself and your capability to overcome obstacles. Having someone who has been down a similar road makes you realize you can do it too. It’s a fantastic motivation, particularly when you’re feeling stressed out or disappointed. 

Vital Life Experiences 

In most cases, the mentor will be older than you, but regardless of age, they will be more experienced. Therefore, these individuals can share valuable lessons they have learned during the courses of their lives. 

As you can already guess, these lessons can be very, very valuable. Through life coaching, a mentor can help you lead a more meaningful life. Being able to learn from someone else’s mistakes lets you make better decisions in your own life. 

Personalized Advice  

By advising you, a knowledgeable mentor will work on your weaknesses and hone your strengths. 

You will be able to grow your business with tailored advice coming from the mentor. Unbiased, honest advice is essential for those wanting career progression. 

Therefore, it’s important to appreciate the connections and information he or she gives you. However, avoid relying solely on your mentor for every career break. After all, you’re the only one in charge of your personal and professional life. 

A Different Perspective 

Business and life mentors can help you perceive a situation from a perspective you otherwise wouldn’t consider. 

Here’s an example – imagine yourself as a new business owner (or don’t, if you already are one). You may find it difficult to look at your business through the eyes of a government official, potential investor, or a customer. 

A mentor can be of great help with this. He or she already had to deal with these people before and knows how your business looks to them. 

Expanded Network 

People who already experienced success in the industry have formed a number of relationships along the way. A mentor who wants only the best for you will connect you with important people. 

In turn, these people can connect you with other successful individuals. With an expanded network, building a career becomes much easier. 

Skills Training

One particularly important benefit of having a mentor is that he or she will assist you in developing your skills. A competent mentor will hone your strengths that are necessary for accomplishing crucial goals. 

The best mentors have already achieved what you’re aiming for. As such, they’re capable of identifying what you’re missing. This saves time you’d otherwise spend on searching for the right skills and gives you more time for self-development. 

Accountability 

When you’re trying to achieve a goal, the biggest challenge is to stay motivated. With a mentor by your side, staying motivated is much easier. The key is in having someone you’re being held accountable to. 

A good mentor always stays honest with you. If they think you’re not trying hard enough, they will tell you. If they think you’re making good progress, they will tell you that too. This kind of encouragement will keep you going even when things become overwhelming. 

A Long-Lasting Relationship 

Typically, mentor-mentee relationships are long-lasting, but some are short-lived. If you manage to hit it off right, the relationship you have with your mentor can become one that lasts for the rest of your career. 

Continued collaboration introduces a myriad of benefits. You will have both the resources and the consistency required to maintain a prosperous business. 

A Greater Chance of Success 

A number of surveys and researches have shown that business owners with mentors are more likely to succeed. A 2013 executive coaching survey, for example, found that 80% of executives had mentors. 

With an experienced mentor by your side, your chances of success in life and business are increased. Occasional checks, timely advice, valuable connections, as well as moral and spiritual guidance, are bound to leapfrog you to success. 

As you can see, having a skillful mentor in life and business introduces a number of benefits. Through a long-term relationship, he or she can assist you in achieving success faster than if you tried on your own.

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‘I can’t imagine anywhere better to live than Surbiton’  Debbie 1999-ish
‘If I resume my creative work full time, my family will be destitute and we’ll be out on the streets’ Lawrence 1991-2010

Now I’ve nothing against Surbiton; it has a station and a Waitrose and access to the river, but having explored Asia and experienced life in other towns and villages, I can say there are definitely other places I feel more at home. Lamma Island, Hong Kong was magical and St Leonards on Sea has a wonderful creative community.

When I made my Surbiton declaration, I had built a very comfortable life with a good job. On the outside I had things sorted and, if you had asked me, I would have said I was happy. I smiled a lot. But I didn’t really experience strong feelings; I had difficulty recognising and naming feelings and a general unease, like I was missing out on life.

My transformation was both gradual and sudden, a long build up and then a pivotal moment when I saw with great clarity how I’d been keeping myself small and safe and I chose to do life differently. Since then there have been highs and lows but that’s always my aim.

Lawrence had embarked on a 20 year ‘experiment’ in business to provide for his young family. Whilst he was committed to being the best father and husband he could be, his fears about returning to his life-long passion as an actor kept him trapped in his office job. After investigating if the fears were true and re-training in Meisner Acting Technique, he has been able to pursue the life of his dreams – acting, teaching and directing.  

Whilst this life has also had its challenges, no one became destitute and he has been able to be an example to those he cares about, of how it is both possible and essential to follow your true expression of yourself both for personal happiness and to make your unique contribution to your community.

Does any of this sound familiar? Living truer to ourselves has transformed our lives and we are now in the privileged position of being able to share what we are learning with others. To find out more please visit
sea-sky.co.uk
Deborah Reeds

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1. ‘There’s got to be more to life than this!’
This group has achieved a good career, home, family and lifestyle but still doesn’t feel fulfilled.  They might have followed what others have wanted for them or be doing what they think is necessary to get by. They can find it difficult to even tune into their desires when they have pushed them aside for so long and may have fears about the impact of making changes in their lives.

Coaching can help you access your heart’s desires, challenge your thinking about the implications of following your path and support you in making gradual changes.
 
2. ‘I know what I want but I’m not doing it (yet)’
Whilst this group knows where they want to be they cannot seem to move forward. They might have taken steps towards implementing their plans but encountered problems or find it difficult to get round to taking action.

Coaching can help navigate internal and external obstacles and ensure you have considered all the actions necessary for success. You better understand your resistance, learn new techniques for resolving issues and are soon moving forward.

3. ‘I can’t seem to move on’
Life events such as the breakdown of a relationship, redundancy or bereavement have turned this group’s lives up-side-down. Once the initial grief has subsided, they are left wondering what is next.

Coaching can help you celebrate your uniqueness and build on the successes of the past whilst making the transition into your next phase. This impartial support has a distinct and different role to the care of friends and family in what can be a confusing and disorientating time. 

4. ‘I want to live the best life I can’
This group simply recognises the value of stepping back reflecting on what they are doing and who they are being. With the pace of life and range of options available, it is easy to get swept along without consciously choosing our path. This group treats regular coaching as an integral part of their lives.

Coaching completes the part we often miss in the ‘plan – do – review’ loop. This enables you to learn the most from each situation and speeds up your progress. Working with a coach over time makes sure you stay on track and consciously create the life you desire.

The first step in exploring if coaching is right for you is a free initial conversation. Get in touch to book yours.
 
Deborah Reeds
start@ deborahreeds.com
deborahreeds.com

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Fast forward a few weeks (perhaps days) and we’ve broken our new habit, the shiny ‘new us’ has lapsed and our new stuff is gathering dust. Those we’ve boasted to about our new venture might now turn to ridicule and we’re left feeling foolish.

Perhaps we are! Things happen, we get sick, we get challenged, we lose our way – we’re human beings! We are foolish to expect ourselves to be as consistent as machines. Many would say the critical stage of starting something new isn’t at the beginning but when we waver. What we do next is crucial. Here are some suggestions….

WHAT?
Investigate what exactly happened. What were the feelings, behaviour and events that led to getting off track? What were the early warning signs? What could you do differently so this doesn’t happen again?

WHY?
Remind yourself of why you are doing this. What do you really desire? What are you investing in? How does this fit with the bigger picture of your life? How does it relate to your purpose and spiritual beliefs?

HOW?
Consider how you have been making changes. Has your routine become boring? Are you attempting to progress too quickly and becoming overwhelmed or too slowly so you lack momentum?

WHO?
Who do you need to get on board? Who can help you stay accountable? Whose knowledge and experience can you benefit from? Perhaps you could benefit from the support of a professional Life Coach.

WHEN?
When will you get back on track? Make this soon, and definite, and stick to it!

Working through these questions will give you more vigour for your next phase. You might even find more focus and fun than when you first started. And then you might well find there’s another lapse. Rather than feeling bad or giving up, just use the steps to get better and get back to it. The aim shouldn’t be to have no lapses, but to increase your self knowledge and recovery so you’re able to get back into your new groove quickly and smoothly.

For more guidance on the process of making changes in your life, including the steps above, get in touch with Life Coach Deborah Reeds for a free initial conversation.

Deborah Reeds
deborahreeds.com

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Here are three suggestions to help you get going…. 
 
Drop the shoulds

When you feel you should be able to move forward with something but your actions aren’t flowing, it is good to enquire if this is something you really desire or if it is something you are doing to please others or ‘fit in’. The sooner you start pleasing yourself, the easier and more rewarding life gets. Tune into your intuition, notice what brings you joy and follow your heart.
 
Side-line your perfectionist

Your desire to do things perfectly can build projects up in your mind until they become far too daunting to tackle. If you find yourself anticipating problems and fixating on a very specific end result, your tight control and judgements might not be serving you. Take a step back and reconnect with the reason you want to do this, how do you want to feel? Like on a car, headlights just light up the road immediately ahead, so define what the first step is and focus on taking just that step. Notice any negative thoughts that come up, thank them for their input but don’t let them run the show.
 
Find the middle way

People who say they are lazy and find it hard to leave their comfy place usually have a pattern of being really hard on themselves, working into a frenzy and then indulging themselves to compensate. This swinging between harsh and soft ways of motivating yourself keeps you thoroughly stuck. Rather than thinking you need to make this hard work, what would be a moderate plan? Break the task down into manageable chunks rather than setting yourself up for exhaustion. Focus on balance.
 
This autumn I will be running a six-week programme to support people who are making a fresh start in some area of their lives. Visit deborahreeds.com for full details and the sequel blog article, ‘Keep Going. Don’t give up!’
 
Deborah Reeds
deborahreeds.com
sea-sky.co.uk

(image courtesy of Freepik)

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2. Get to know your personal passions. These are the things that make your heart sing and your skin tingle. They drive you to do activities you lose yourself in. When coaching clients, I have processes to tease these out and we’ll also be exploring them on our Finding Your True Voice retreat. You can get a flavour of your passions by noticing the times in your day when you are having the most fun. Investigate and experiment by doing more of the things that bring you the most joy.


3. Seek out new experiences. It’s easy to get stuck in a rut, and something as simple as taking a new route can give us a different perspective on our day. Is there a class you’d like to take, an activity to try, a new book to read? Have the curiosity of an explorer, smile, have conversations with new people. It might mean leaving your comfort zone, maybe not everyone will love you, but would that really be so bad? Grab all your courage and have a fabulous summer adventure!


Deborah Reeds

deborahreeds.com

sea-sky.co.uk

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So the first way we know we have committed is that we’ve said a full yes – 100%! Not a ‘maybe’ or ‘we’ll see’. As Chris demonstrates, it’s better to say ‘no’ than to be half-hearted.

The second indication that we’ve committed is in the level of responsibility we take. Taking responsibility for managing yourself, organising the resources you need and getting onboard others who have the potential to help and hinder you means, even if there are upsets, there’s no room for blaming others or external events. No excuses. You might need help, advice and to learn new things, though you know you are responsible for putting these in place. You are in the driving seat.

The third way we show our commitment is with our attention and focus. For example, if we are committed to our health goals, we’ll look out for helpful information as we go about our day, we’ll naturally steer conversations in this direction as we are curious about other’s experiences and we’ll consider our goals when we make choices like what to eat or how to exercise.

To help us support our choice, it is important to allocate the time so we can give all the necessary energy to fulfil our commitment. So the fourth way we show our commitment is by taking action – taking all the action we’ve agreed, with ourselves and others, at the appropriate time and with the appropriate energy.

These last two points – attention/focus and time/energy – limit the number of commitments we can make fully at any one time. When we have too many things on the go at once, we can juggle or rotate our commitment, however it is likely the things that are most urgent or the people who shout loudest will get our attention rather than us making a conscious choice about the things we want to commit to. This lifestyle is likely to drain our energy so we are unable to give our best.

The fifth way to know if we’re committed is demonstrated by what happens when there’s a problem. It is quite typical that, when we decide to commit, both internal and external obstacles arise – internal obstacles like self-doubt and experiences you’ve had in the past that you’re afraid of repeating, and external obstacles that require you to think in new ways, relate to people differently and develop new skills. When the going gets tough, without commitment we are likely to give up. Commitment gives us the resourcefulness and resilience we need to solve problems creatively, discover solutions and keep on going.

With all of the above, it will be no surprise to learn that the sixth sign of commitment is progress. We might not always make progress in the way we plan or in line with expectations. Some of the problems highlighted above might have caused us to take a detour, or we might have spotted a new opportunity which will enhance our plan. However if we are making all the causes above, the effect must be progress.

Finally, when we have made a real commitment, we have the additional evidence of our personal growth. By giving our full commitment, we develop new skills and behaviour, we learn the states of mind that work for us and as we observe the results we achieve, our self-belief grows and we are ready to take on bigger, more life expanding commitments.

Deborah Reeds

deborahreeds.com

sea-sky.co.uk

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Is it time to focus on you?
If your work and home life is full of stress you’re probably expecting your holiday to be a nurturing time of relaxation. Traditional holidays with the family provide a distraction from normal life, however can be stressful in other ways and probably will not give the relaxation your mind and body needs. It might seem selfish to take time out, indulging your needs, yet this will help you recharge and return ready to give your best to all those in your life.

What do you desire?
Not everyone’s idea of relaxation is to be horizontal in the sun! The key is to choose a retreat that is something you desire, though sufficiently different to your normal life. Perhaps something you’re passionate about but have not the time to get into deeply at home. This could be an activity like yoga, walking, dance, art, acting or water-sports. You spend enough time at home using huge amounts of will power to motivate yourself to do things you think you should do; let this be something that you really desire.

What learning do you need in your life?
Indulging in spa treatments might be wonderful at the time, though how long will the benefits last? Retreats are great for lifestyle changes like introducing a regular yoga or meditation practice. You not only learn techniques, though also get into a new routine.

Time away can be great for self-reflection, understanding what causes stress and difficulties in your life, revealing what you really want and establishing different behaviour patterns. When considering this type of retreat, make sure you will be practising the new behaviour and developing new habits rather than just talking about the changes you would like to make.

What type of environment do you find most nurturing?
Would you prefer to be camping in nature, surrounded by luxury or constantly on the move exploring new territory? Consider the kind of climate that suits you. It is important that your environment complements the reasons you are going on retreat.

Who is your best teacher?
If you already have a degree of expertise, it might be important for your teacher to be a well-known guru or specialist. Typically these will be less intimate retreats, with the teacher being less accessible for individual conversations, before, after and during the course. You might find your local wellbeing practitioner, who you already know and trust, offers a retreat or there is an opportunity to meet and get to know your teacher beforehand.

One of the topics to explore with your teacher before the retreat is their teaching style to ensure it fits well with the way you love to learn. If you are less sure about what and how you would like to learn, opting for a centre with a number of teachers might be good for you.

What kind of group and social opportunities?
Retreats can be pretty intense so there are choices to make about the size of the group and the amount of free time you will have. Remember you’re not aiming to recreate life at home or a traditional holiday. This is again about the group who will help you gain the most from your retreat experience.

What are the practicalities?
Rather than being the starting point, I suggest price, dates and availability follow from the answers above. Don’t forget that retreat prices often do not include flights or transfers and remember to check the meals that are included. The nature of retreats often means the venue is away from other amenities.

Given the range of retreats available, the chances are you’ll find one that fits you perfectly. If you do decide to compromise, at least you’ll be aware and can make plans to make sure you gain the most from the experience.

Why not join us for Finding Your True Voice – our transformational retreat combines my life coaching and Lawrence O’Connor’s Meisner acting practices to help participants find their true expression of themselves. It takes place in at the beautiful Cristoforo Centre in Tenerife in June. To explore if this is the best retreat for you, visit our website and get in touch for a chat so we can guide you through some of the questions above.
Deborah Reeds – train @sea-sky.co.uk

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