Back in the driving seat: The parent’s guide to workplace confidence

The journey back to professional life after maternity leave can be a rollercoaster of emotions and confidence levels. So, how can you be the driver of your own confidence as you navigate this transition?

The confidence conundrum

I vividly remember my own return to work after becoming a mother. One day, I’d feel invincible, making bold decisions in marathon meetings with the perspective that ‘I’ve kept a human alive; I can handle anything’. The next day, I’d find myself in tears at the sight of a baby in a buggy, desperately missing my own child while questioning my ability to balance work and motherhood.

That was 22 years ago, and now, as I coach returnees, I see these same confidence highs and lows play out. The key is recognising that these fluctuations are normal and learning how to manage them.

Building your confidence toolkit

Through my experience, I’ve identified several crucial areas that can help build and maintain self-confidence during this transition. These include:

1. Being the driver

Confidence stems from having a clear destination. Just as you’d use a GPS for a car journey, you need to know where you’re headed in your career. I recently worked with a client returning after a year of leave to find her team of 15 people had completely changed, except for one person. We practised conversations she could have with her manager, exploring options like delayed account assignments, extended maternity cover or a phased return. By taking control and considering her options, she regained her sense of direction and boosted her confidence.

2. Embracing choice

The language we use, even internally, can empower or immobilise us. I always challenge my clients when they say things like ‘I have to go to the office’. Remember, everything in life is a choice. You’re choosing to go to the office, not being physically pushed out the door. This shift in perspective can be incredibly empowering.

A client once told me she ‘had to’ chair the Monday meeting. When we explored what she liked and disliked about it, she realised it wasn’t the chairing she minded, but the 9am meeting start time. Recognising she had a choice to change this was a game-changer.

3. Implementing systems and processes

As new parents, you’ve likely already created systems for sterilising bottles, preparing meals or establishing bedtime routines. The same principle applies to work. Creating systems and processes provides a framework that boosts confidence.

I encourage my clients to think creatively about new systems for their new life. One client who didn’t work on Wednesdays arranged for a Thursday morning briefing from a colleague so she could quickly catch up on what she had missed from the previous day. Another on paternity leave asked his deputy to create a daily log of bullet points for easy reference. These structures provide familiarity and control, essential ingredients for confidence.

4. Nurturing your tribe

Time becomes precious as a new parent, but connection with others remains vital. I ask my clients to list people who make them feel good and intentionally schedule time with them. Your tribe might include colleagues, family and friends. While it might be challenging to find time, these interactions are crucial for your wellbeing and confidence.

I recently worked with a client who felt she couldn’t take breaks at the office. When we discussed the benefits of catching up with friends and colleagues during these times, she realised the importance of prioritising these moments.

5. Celebrating achievements and small wins

Confidence thrives on achievement. I advise my clients to record their successes in both personal and professional realms. Don’t separate parenting achievements from work ones – they’re equally valuable. One client successfully transitioned her baby to solid foods and won a pitch in the same week. Both deserved celebration and recognition.

Take time to write down or digitally capture your achievements. Achievement underpins motivation and the act of ticking them off provides an endorphin rush that boosts confidence.

The Road Ahead

As you return to work, remember that confidence is something you can cultivate and strengthen. Be the driver in your life, make empowering choices, create supportive systems and processes, surround yourself with your tribe and always celebrate your achievements along the way.

Your journey as a working parent is unique, filled with its own challenges and triumphs. But with these tools in your arsenal, you’re well-equipped to navigate the road ahead with confidence and grace.

Remember, the goal isn’t perfection – it’s progress. Some days will be smoother than others, and that’s okay. What matters is that you’re in the driver’s seat, steering your way forward with growing confidence and capability. You’ve got this!

Beverlie Wilkinson is founder and executive business coach at Nuggets of Learning. For more information visit: nuggetsoflearning.co.uk

Written By: Beverlie Wilkinson

Photo by Alexander Dummer on Unsplash